Purpose in Life

I have been waiting on God. He asked me to do so.  I’m learning patience and humility.  Which being said, means that my EGO gets in the way too much.  I was made for a purpose.

pur·pose   ˈpərpəs/   noun
  1. the reason for which something is done or created or for which something exists.
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Puzzle of Life

I love the fact that before I was born God was “singing over me”.   That He designed me just the way I am to fulfill a greater role in life than I could ever envision.

Psalm 139   13You alone created my inner being. You knitted me together inside my mother.  14I will give thanks to you because I have been so amazingly and miraculously made. Your works are miraculous, and my soul is fully aware of this.

My earliest memories include the dissatisfaction of my design.  I was too little, too active, too moody, too bad to be loved.  In short, all I looked at were things that I perceived as my shortcomings.  I didn’t pursue the valuable talents and gifts that I was granted.  I tried to be something that I WAS NOT.  When my focus is on ME, I am unable to view the BIG PICTURE.  This led to depression, anxiety, self pity, anger and other negative emotions, which overwhelmed me so much that I chose to hide them, squelch them, pretend they did not exist.  That path leads to misery and the inability to attach to anyone for fear of rejection, pain, hurt. Gently and graciously, God led me to look at HIS PLAN, to trust that He knows what’s ahead and will prepare me for the process.

Yes, I sometimes look at the circumstances and get fearful, but He patiently reminds me that I can count on His Promises.

His creation reminds me daily of His Presence.  I am blessed to BE A BLESSING.  Daily encounters with other broken people, such as myself, looking for recovery is another reminder of His Love.  Learning to love myself, as God loves me, allows me to pass along that generous blessing to those around me.  Even if they seem unwilling, undeserving, unlovely, I, too was all this and more. Controlling, angry, self-willed is a short list of my defects.  Yet, God has used me.  He uses my trials, He uses my victories for they are His victories and if my ego does not usurp the glory, then He is glorified in all that happens during my daily journey.

I choose to offer myself in total surrender for the prize awaiting me.  Just a8Oct-28MA14251843-0003

glimpse of the love that is completely unconditional, wets my appetite for more.

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Courage to Stand

Brea
Stand

I recently opened myself up to the reveal the scars of my life for the scrutiny of those interested enough to read this blog.  I have been encouraged and nourished spiritually by the blogs that I have discovered during the past years and include many of them in my daily devotional reading.

I am “a disciple” of The Way!  Many people discipline themselves in exercise, diet, reading and other tasks.  Perhaps, they are not even aware of their “discipline” because it is merely developing habits to achieve our goals.  My pastor recently stated that the word discipline triggers negative connotations.

con·no·ta·tion

ˌkänəˈtāSH(ə)n/
noun
plural noun: connotations
  1. an idea or feeling that a word invokes in addition to its literal or primary meaning.
    “the word “discipline” has unhappy connotations of punishment and repression”
    synonyms: overtoneundertoneundercurrentimplication, hidden meaning, nuancehintecho,

    vibrations, associationintimation,

    suggestionsuspicioninsinuation

    “there was a connotation of distrust in his voice”
    • PHILOSOPHY
      the abstract meaning or intention of a term, which forms a principle determining which objects or concepts it applies to. freedom from bondage

This morning, I opened one of my favorite blogger sites:    https://josephsdailywalkwithjesus.wordpress.com/author/ropheka/

who shared:

“At the same time we see it becoming more and more severe how these same creatures viciously mock true Christians. We see how they vilify us with every opportunity.

Instead of feeling pressured or picked on consider it pure joy when anyone mocks you for being a Christian. That is a badge of honour. It also means time is running short and soon we will be with our Beloved in Heaven.”

Then I opened a blog site that has provided insight, encouragement and tenacity for me to be HONEST about myself.    A wonderful aspiring actress, author, and human being  found also at  http://instagram.com/beauty.beyond.bones

Reading “Well here’s the thing…much like Wikipedia, random people can add to/edit your page.Yep…thaaaaat’s right. Random people can go on there and submit trivia facts, biographical information, photos, and in my desperately unfortunate situation…quotes.

And you guys. The quotes that whoever this troll pulled from my blog, taken out of context, make me look like the absolute spawn of Satan.”  

I was impressed immediately by,   YES,    backing out and stepping UP!!!   God has led me through 3 yrs of growing FAITH in HIS Promises and I choose to STAND!!

I am NOT a movie buff but did enjoy the Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling, who quotes ” It is our choices…that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” and also authors, Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them.  While at the theater, a trailer for a new release for November was aired with the statement:

“Who will stand against the darkness?”

shining light

I will answer the CALL.  I find HOPE in the Word!!

Reckless Love

https://youtu.be/Sc6SSHuZvQE    Reckless Love by  Cory Asbury
And oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights ’til I’m found, leaves the ninety-nine
And I couldn’t earn it, and I don’t deserve it, still, You give Yourself away
Oh, the overwhelming, never-ending, reckless love of God, yeah
There’s no shadow You won’t light up
Mountain You won’t climb up
Coming after me
There’s no wall You won’t kick down
Lie You won’t tear down
Coming after me
Songs, in general, move my spirit (both up and down).  During a season of despair and resentment, I spent a lot of time with Pink.  Let me confess that life left me emotionally depraved.
The clinical description is as follows:
Reactive attachment disorder (RAD) is a complex, severe, and relatively uncommon condition in which infants and young children do not establish lasting, healthy bonds with parents or caregivers. … In many cases a child with RAD has been the victim of abuse, neglect, or abandonment or is orphaned.
My first memory of the abuse began at 2yrs.  This is not an excuse for me to wallow in self-pity, not that I haven’t spent time doing that very thing.
This IS THE TESTIMONY  that the above song describes my Lord’s ability and desire to rescue each and every soul that will open the door to Him.
Your Kingdom Come, Might One!!Janice 13.5 months .1

Blogging is Work!!!

“Blogging is hard work. Never forget that. It requires creativity, determination and hard work. I try to post every day but coming up with original content is no easy matter. Finding the time to write is also a challenge.”  Fractured Faith Blog

http://fracturedfaithblog.com/author/afracturedfaithblog/

A true statement, indeed!!  God has purposed me to share messages, but I often allow other tasks to interfere.  I find the vulnerability in writing to be a cringing factor in my faith.  Recently, I was challenged to “tell my story” by a reader.  Thank you for that challenge.  It spurs me to give the time and energy needed to truly WRITE!!

That stated…I am a MESS!!  But…a very blessed mess I am.  This blog site, offered to me by Debi Gray Walter, author of Through The Eyes of Grace and blogger of TheRomanticVineyard.com, during a night of encouragement, has been a blessing in and of itself.  I have “collected” a few blogs that I follow, including the quoted one above.

All are inspiring to me because they bare their lives to scrutiny, embarrassment, and disparagement while offering up their testimony in the hope that it will help others.  I have had a little ‘stage fright’ myself.  Thank you all for your insights.

No nuggets of Golden Wisdom today unless you count the resolution to begin #LetItBeginWithMe.JK

True Joy

happiness depends on circumstance; joy depends on your heart’s greatest treasure

Our expectations can often bring us disappointment; however, it is the challenge and

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choice of the individual to bring your perspective into focus.

 

 

solar eclipsePerhaps the world appears a little dark—add a light…the light is within you and can never be extinguished without your permission.  We can be misled into believing we have agreed to things that we haven’t.  Assumption that we are helpless in situations, in which we are not.  Yes, we may have to face the consequence of someone else’s disappointment in their expectation, but we are FREE TO CHOOSE!!!

Children expect to be fed when they become hungry; however, if their expectations are not met, they will adjust in various ways.  Demands may be made or resignation to the pain of hunger.  We are the same spiritually.  Seek your Spiritual food!! Go after it!! Don’t believe the lie!

The Purpose of Trials (Tests)

Faith is not to get you out of a hard place but to change your heart in the hard place.

David Wilkerson                           Featured Image -- 1027

Whenever The Shepherd leads you into the unknown and challenges you to do things you do not feel equipped to do…  do not argue or complain about the difficult task but thank Him for them. He is doing a miracle in you and through you; one, that you may not perceive until you have reached the other side of the challenge.

The cliche’ – Hindsight is 20/20 applies whether we look or not.  The trail of God’s Hand is evident in every journey!

lifting

A wonderful blogger shared:

Spend more time with people who embrace the chaos, embrace the unknown, embrace the unfamiliar and make things seem possible. They make things look easy and make life a little brighter just because they know things will eventually work out. Things will fall into place. Things won’t always be dark and grey because life is beautiful and vivid and can sometimes be full of wonderful surprises.

 

My personal path of enlightenment has been sprinkled with God’s Grace and though I have found the pathway steep and rocky, Christ goes before me making my way and finding footing for me to follow.   pexels-photo-141870.jpeg

Chaos

“The history of every temptation, and of every sin, is the same; the outward object of attraction, the inward commotion of mind, the increase and triumph of passionate desires, ending in the degradation, slavery, and ruin of the soul.” Unknown

The sadness of total ruination of any human is depressing and heartbreaking and can bring us to the brink of despair.  Not only the one who has strayed and  devastated himself but those who are touched by his soul.  We often grieve for others when we ourselves are in the same avalanche.

The silence I have held has been more or less an emotional coma.  I have soaked up blogs and inspiration from those around me while being singed by the chaos.  Today I march forward in confidence that God, My Holy Father, inspires me to share with others so that in the blessings He pours upon me, I may, in turn bless others.  beach mom